I went out on Saturday in order to be a tourist in my own town. I actually went downtown to replace some shoes, but as the weather was nice and I really didn't feel like going home just yet, I followed the stream of people walking (seemingly aimlessly) around the city. I have no exact figures, but it looked like about 80% of the people in the central areas were tourists. I heard a whole lot of different dialects and languages being spoken.

Anyway, my new mobile phone came by post on Thursday and I decided to try out its photographic abilities. It's nothing like my real digital camera, but it's better than having no camera at all. So I took a few photos for your pleasure.

First, there's the cruise ship that was moored by the harbour on Saturday. This picture also shows the diversity of the harbour, or should have, had it not been so blurry, but anyway there are four or five wooden sailboats there as well, in front of the gigantic cruise vessel (don't remember its name...Princess something.)



Then I just had to take a picture of this, a perfect example of the exploitation of the tourists; as soon as they step off the ship, they're funneled straight into the tax-free shop:



The weather was nice:



A few photos from Akershus Fortress, built in 1299 and still in use by the military, although to a much lesser degree than earlier; most of the fortress area is open to the public and some of the lawns are perfect for sunbathing. In the summer, that is.

Here are some of the cannons:



A pond inside the fortress as well as some of the buildings show you how idyllic this place is:





Another (blurry) view of the harbour:



And here's the view of Aker Brygge/Aker Pier and the City Hall (the brown building to the far right - it's actually got two towers but I was too lazy to move). It looks very fuzzy, but the Pier area is very popular during the summer (and thus also the most expensive place to go out, and that says a lot when it comes to Oslo, one of the most expensive cities in the world!)



Then I went up to the Royal Palace:



Another blurry picture, this time of a member of the Royal Guard (and no, I didn't get his name - they don't say much):



(I'm including this less blurry photo as well, visit The Royal Guard's website - which for some very strange reason has no pages in English)



Here's the view from the front of the Palace, facing the Karl Johan's Street, Oslo's main boulevard, currently being renovated for the mother-of-a-party happening next year when we're celebrating getting rid of the Swedes our hundred-year-old independence.



And another one of the Palace. The wife of a much-discussed politician managed to drive their car down these steps after dropping off her husband for a dinner at the Palace a few years ago, and we're still bringing it up from time to time. Took the focus off her monster of a hair-do (see below.)





Then the mandatory photo of the University - most tourists take a picture of this before realising it's not the Royal Palace. Anyway, this is the downtown area of the University, which houses the Faculty of Law. The "real" campus is based further west. Basically, the University has got faculties, institutes and museums scattered around the city. The buildings in the city centre are nevertheless the oldest university buildings, dating back to 1852 (even though the University itself was founded in 1811.)



On the other side of the pavement from the Faculty of Law there's Spikersuppa, a favourite spot between the Parliament and the Royal Palace, housing a large fountain and a pond that becomes a skating rink in the wintertime (which is more or less six months. Grr.) The sculpture you see in front of the fountain is changed regularly so that lots of artists get shown.



Finally, I managed to take a photo of the American Embassy without the guards noticing me. Considering how paranoid they are (a man got arrested for throwing a paper plane towards the building a few years back - perhaps they thought it to be in bad taste) I wasn't sure if they'd let me take a photo, so I took a picture just as one of the guards was busy fastening the chain on one of the makeshift gates surrounding the area. Again, this isn't a very good photo, but you can just about make out the fences they've put around the building, blocking up half the street. The building is in a triangular shape, btw, it's not just a funny angle.



There are a few things I've noticed about tourists, after having watched them every summer for eight years. First of all, if they're obese, wearing sunglasses and large cameras, they're American. If they're tiny, wearing sunglasses and large cameras, they're Japanese. However, they could be Chinese; they are starting to go travelling abroad as well. If they're blindingly white, speaking English and looking for the nearest chip shop (which doesn't exist), they're English. If they're blindingly white, speaking English with a funky accent and looking for the nearest Bierstube (which doesn't exist), they're German. If they're driving a caravan or mobile home and speak as if they've got a potato stuck in the throat, they're either Danish or Dutch, possibly Belgian. If they sound a bit like us but keep complaining about how silly we Norwegians are, they're Swedish. If they are Polish, they're not tourists, they work here.

I love tourists, though. They are usually very polite, put their litter in the bin and are really cute when they're standing in the middle of the street with their unfolded map, looking very confused. I always want to give them directions, but usually when they ask me I have no idea about where it is they're supposed to go. "Eexcoos me, fere iz ze Fikink sheeps, bitte?" (Pause.) "Oh, the Viking ships? Right, just take the bus over there..." I love them when they ask me in their own language, though. Italians in their sixties, utterly distraught, looking for the Royal Palace, not speaking a word of English. Turkish students looking for their hotel, constantly pointing at their map as if to say "it's supposed to be right here!" (It was; it was just around the corner. It is the tallest building in the city. In the country, actually. Easy to miss.) I love tourists because they come visiting my town, this city that I like so much and it makes me proud that they take a trip here, even if it's just for a few hours, stopping on their way to the fjords on the western coast and the world's northernmost city (good luck on your VERY long journey up there; it's like going by car from Oslo to Rome, you know, or even longer. Plus it's by sea.) As I was walking up and down Karl Johan's yesterday I spotted all the tourists enjoying a cup of caffe latte or an ice cream in the cafés and thought "this is exactly what I would have done in a foreign city; sit for a couple of hours in a nice café, sipping a cup of expensive coffee, only to discover by the time I left that if I'd walked around the corner there would have been a much less expensive and even nicer place and I could have afforded a newspaper as well." Oh, well. Yesterday's tourists were lucky; it's been raining here for weeks now (including today) but yesterday was all sunshine.

Still awaiting the summer of 2004. Please don't tell me we had it back in May.

Current track: Pacific Blue - Ocean (ooh, memories)

Labels: Norway, technology