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2,000 hamsters can't be wrong.

04 July 2006

A Visit to the Local Chinese Take-away 

SCENE I: A Chinese Take-away

(Ingaroo enters shop, the bell rings. Ing checks out the menu.)

(No one cares)

(Ingaroo approaches the counter. There are sounds of cooking coming from the kitchen behind the counter. No one reacts.)

(After about three minutes, enter Chinese Man (CM), a near-sighted man with a crooked smile and extremely lousy English)

CM: Yes? You want? (Pulls out a notepad and a pen from behind the counter.)
Ing: Hi, I would like a number 42a, please.
CM: (Writes down 36)
Ing: No, 42a, please. (Points to the menu) The beef with satay sauce.
CM: Wha da?
Ing: Number 42a, it's down here, see, at the bottom. Beef with satay.
CM: Aah! (Crosses out 36 and writes down 32 instead)
Ing: No, the 42a, four and then two and an A.
CM: Yes (writes down an A at the end of the 32) da is Kung Pow, yes?
Ing: No...yeah, whatever. And fried rice, please.
CM: Egg fly lye?
Ing: Yes, please.
CM: Sank you. (Goes into the kitchen)
Ing: (Decides not to check the menu to see what 32A is and goes for the several days-old Daily Mirror by the door instead.)

(About three minutes later, enter Chinese Woman (CW), better English but much more into bowing.)

CW: Please, for you, please. (Holds out plastic bag with what presumably is food.)
Ing: Ah, thank you very much. (Grabs bag. Exit.)

SCENE II: Ingaroo's Kitchen

(Enter Ingaroo, clutching a plastic bag. She places the bag on the counter and slowly takes out the food she only half-way ordered.)

Ing: Let's see...what could it be...aah... (Opens a paper bag containing nothing remotely like neither beef in satay sauce nor 'kung pow', but much, much more like toasts with prawn and sesame seeds. She checks the menu.) OK, so...this is a vegetarian dish...and they did not bat an eyelid when I ordered rice with these toasts? They must have thought 'clazy English, no taste'.

CURTAIN.

Current track: Nothing, but some Italians down below are cheering for their well-deserved win against the Germans.

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Posted by: Ingaroo / 22:28
Comments:
I believe you've encountered someone in close relation to the chinese people I live with (i assume they're family - there can't be that many chinese people in the world, right?). The landlord can hardly speak a word of english despite having lived here for something like 5 years and the other roommate has a worse English-accent than a Norwegian. Having previously thought of China and Asia in general as exotic and interesting, I find my illusion has been brutally shattered everytime I hear them bickering in Chinese every morning. Must... move... soon...
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 08 July, 2006 00:19
 
Aww, you poor thing! At least I don't have to live with them! But I bet they make great food! *turns off her stereotypics booster*
# posted by Blogger Ingaroo : 08 July, 2006 13:43
 
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