Who needs telly and computer games when they have a vivid imagination?

I normally have long and very weird dreams, compared to people I have discussed this with, so there is really nothing special about last night's dream, other than that it was really long and both scary and funny at the same time. It was also sort of like a complete sci-fi film with a beginning, a middle and an end. This is usually not the case when it comes to my dreams.

OK, so the whole thing started with some friends of mine and myself in a house somewhere. At that moment we did not know where we were, but we had lived and worked there for quite some time. Apparently, we ran a library/grocery store in our house and had a huge garden at the back. Then there was an explosion somewhere outside and giant blow-up dinosaurs and casinos (don't ask) started swarming our whole neighbourhood. To give you an idea, they were many storeys tall. Think Godzilla. Only...less mobile. We went outside and tried to secure the incredibly old, rickety picket fence and its many gates, before the awfully scary blow-ups reached our house.

At this point we noticed we were in fact just a pod at the very edge of a gigantic moonbase, and there had been an alien invasion.

The leader of the pack strangely enough turned out to be the grandfather of one of us and was yet another huge blow-up doll, sporting a blow-up cane. Even though he was immensely evil and led an interstellar attack force, he needed help getting around, so those of us who were members of his family had to guide him around the base as he ordered one assault after another.

The upside of the blow-up attack force was that they moved very slowly and made very little impact on anything they bumped against, the downside was that since we were living in glass bubbles, the base was soon extremely crowded.

We could see no way out of there, and after another frantic attempt to secure the garden fence, we huddled together indoors and tried to devise a cunning plan. Unfortunately we had to build a mountain of old junk in order to get into our living room, as one of us (not me) had already made a great plan and invited an enormous louse over, and this louse had moved in by throwing out all of our junk. Let me tell you, lice are SCARY when they become the size of a car. They do have kind eyes, though.

Apparently, lice turn out to be the only defence against galactic and intergalactic blow-up dinosaur attacks, and you only need one to take down a medium-sized force. I am still unsure as to why lice are so efficient when it comes to combating in space, as I had to spend most of the remainder of the dream fighting off blow-up granddad and negotiating with the moonbase's defence force.

You see, the defence force was led by this very cautious colonel who thought we should abide our time and not make any rash decisions, so I had to kick some arse in order to get him moving at all. So while some of my friends were busy trying to keep blow-up granddad on his feet (but away from any of his forces), I was left with the rest (including Spitting Image's Queen Elizabeth, Don Johnson a la Miami Vice and a boy scout), hanging from a tree while conducting our best diplomatic tactics with the wary colonel.

In the middle of our discussions, comic relief happened in the form of an enormous blow-up Pink Panther, smoking and wearing a black beret and sunglasses, appearing from nowhere and harvesting a big round of applause from everyone involved in the war (including the other blow-ups, but they needed a lot longer time to clap).

When we got back to the discussion, it turned out the colonel had suddenly seen the light and launched his defence force, which was basically a giant XBOX 360 hidden within an even bigger Transformer. Since everything now seemed to reach an end, we took the liberty to go to the local fun fair, where we visited The Church of Pierce Brosnan, which he himself had started. He became very angry when we started giggling at the sight of him exiting his church wearing a tuxedo and sunglasses. Even Don Johnson giggled. So Pierce Brosnan went back in and sulked while we were having fun at the rest of the fair.

And no, I am not a sci-fi geek at all. I like the odd sci-fi flick and loved the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Temple games, but do not have Yoda figures on my desk while quoting Kirk and Picard off the top of my head.

I do know who they are, though. And I do say "Scott me up, Beamie" on occasion, but that is more a reference to the game Leisure Suit Larry than the Star Trek series (because any trekkie would know that quote was utterly wrong).

Labels: dreams, humour