Last night, in between the rainstorms, I had this rather disturbing dream that I had just built this gigantic, three-storey art deco house which I shared with someone who was always afraid the bailiff would come a-knocking. If I could afford such a big house, why have a flatmate who couldn't pay and whom I didn't actually know? The mind boggles. Anyway. One day these two middle-aged men came knocking. When we wouldn't open the door, they broke in and I immediately called the police while staring right at them. They were rather friendly, and so I could calmly let the police know what they looked like etc., all the while making sure they understood they had definitely come to murder us, so they had to send round a car ASAP! The two guys weren't actually there to kill us, it turned out, but rather to kill themselves. One of them had a layer cake with candles and the icing read "I am 70 years from 70 and I am 46 and don't think I want to see 70". It all made sense at the time. He had, in fact, baked a suicide cake. He just couldn't go through with it, though, so he had called some friends to help him out, and they were landing as we spoke. On our roof, in fact, as they were aliens. My new house couldn't quite take the pressure, so we brought the 30+ dachshunds I owned to the second floor (as you do, when the house is collapsing around you), and then suddenly the whole thing was a Stanley Kubrick film and I was looking for a builder called Rickman. The company which had hired this builder had no less than 1500 people called Rickman, so this could take some time. Luckily I was saved by the bear. Sort of. I ran away from the building site in order to go to Denmark and visit a safari park they had installed on one of their islands. They had also installed a whole lot of binoculars you could use to view the animals. I used one of those and spotted lots of ducks and a few bears. And a Japanese cook climbing a tree in search for sushi. He was mauled by one of the bears, and it was all quite horrid. I ran away from there because the bear came after me (even though it was miles away). I eventually jumped across some big rocks and into a bus, which I knew would take me to the real Denmark, because after a few stops he shouted "hey, hey, Denmark!" and threw me off. I ended up next to an upside-down Viking ship which had been turned into a house. The people living there was called Rogersen or something similar. Clearly Norwegian. And with the Norwegians came the snow, so the bear stayed away.

At this point I think I woke up, quite exhausted after all the running, and quite relieved to find that I wasn't in Denmark after all.

I need to go now. Fingers crossed for a wonderful afternoon.

Labels: dreams, personal